[Newsletter for December 2010]

“We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.” 1 John 4:19 (the message)

Isn’t that the truth? “First we were loved, now we love.” Welcome to how life should be.

It’s almost the end of Track Two and my six-month internship will come to a close. I’m so overwhelmed with bittersweet feelings that I really want it to just continue forever! I will greatly miss being an intern but am very excited for the things to come within the Intro to IHOP-KC Internship family.

In the end of November, I went back to my home church and gave a small talk about what God has been doing at IHOP-KC. It was really great to see familiar faces and old friends and to reconnect on deeper levels of God’s heart. I was so very encouraged by all of the conversations I had— just listening to people open up to me and share some very personal things. What a blessing to even get to sit down and pray for some people. This is what I want my life to be. I am so excited to launch out into full-time ministry in January. I recently had an interview with the Intro Staff and I will be joining staff in a facet yet to be determined, perhaps even by the time of the ONEthing conference!

And don’t forget the ONEthing conference coming up SOON! It is December 28-31st and is honestly the best way to usher in the new year with the whole family. Surrounding yourself with thousands of other believers running hard after the things of God, listening to some of the best teachers and the best musicians on the face of the Earth — it doesn’t get better! It’s a FREE conference, too; so register at www.ihop.org quickly before they run out of room. You may even see me ministering in the prophecy and healing rooms, which blesses me as much as it blesses others.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season, and if you ever need prayer, please let me know! I included at the bottom of this letter a small nugget from my quiet time that I wanted to pass on to you. I hope it blesses your heart like it blessed mine.

Love, Jeska

From My Journal:
Revelation 4:2-5

    “At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. 3 And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne. 4 Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 5 From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits[a] of God. 6 Also in front of the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.”

Not to mention this whole time the four living creatures are singing

    “‘Holy, holy, holy

       is the Lord God Almighty,’[b]

       who was, and is, and is to come.’” (v.8)

and the 24 elders are casting crowns before the throne and saying,

    “You are worthy, our Lord and God,
       to receive glory and honor and power,
    for you created all things,
       and by your will they were created
       and have their being.” (v.11)

If you think about it, that’s some pretty intense action going on around God’s throne in heaven. Think of all that noise… lightning, thundering, voices, singing, the endless sounds of crowns hitting the sea of glass…

    but look into psalm 18:6

    “In my distress I called upon the LORD,
             And cried out to my God;
             He heard my voice from His temple,
             And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.”

Beloved. God has heard your voice. When you cry out to Him, He can hear you amidst all of the glorious praise He deserves. Your cry comes before Him even to HIS EARS. You are not yelling at Him from one end of the kingdom to the other; you are right by His side, whispering into His ear.

He is always listening.

Isn’t that the truth? “First we were loved, now we love.” Welcome to how life should be.

It’s almost the end of Track Two and I’m so overwhelmed with bittersweet feelings that I really want it to just continue forever! I will greatly miss INTRO and hopefully will be invited to be on staff when it’s over.

Last weekend I went back home and gave a small talk about what God has been doing at IHOP-KC. It was really great to see familiar faces and old friends and to reconnect on deeper levels of God’s heart. I was so very encouraged by all of the conversations I had— just listening to people open up to me and share some very personal things. What a blessing to even get to sit down and pray for some people. This is what I want my life to be. I am so excited to launch out into full-time ministry in January. All I need is to know what direction God is leading me to financially support myself. I am already looking for a job until I can be fully supported by a partnership team, but I wish I didn’t have to lose time not being completely focused on my calling by working in the marketplace. But, to God be the glory and His will be done in my life. I know all things will work out for me, and I can’t complain with learning new areas to grow in.

I’m also excited for the ONEthing conference coming up. It is December 27-31st and is honestly the best way to usher in the new year with the whole family. Surrounding yourself with thousands of other believers running hard after the things of God, listening to some of the best teachers and the best musicians on the face of the Earth — it doesn’t get better! It’s a FREE conference, too; so register at www.ihop.org quickly before they run out of room. I’ll be working the prophecy and healing rooms, I think, so that’s always a good time!

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season, and if you ever need prayer, please let me know!

Love, Jeska

(Source: home-ifoundyounow)

fell into this nugget over the last few days.

revelation 4:2-5

“At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. ³ And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne. ⁴ Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. ⁵ From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits^[a] of God. ⁶ Also in front of the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.”

Not to mention this whole time the four living creatures are singing

“‘Holy, holy, holy

   is the Lord God Almighty,’^[b]

   who was, and is, and is to come.’” (v.8)

and the 24 elders are casting crowns before the throne and saying,

“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
   to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
   and by your will they were created
   and have their being.” (v.11)

that’s some pretty intense action going on around God’s throne in heaven. think of all that noise… lightning, thundering, voices, singing, the endless sounds of crowns hitting the sea of glass…

but look into psalm 18:6

“In my distress I called upon the LORD,
         And cried out to my God;
         He heard my voice from His temple,
         And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.”

Beloved. God has heard your voice. When you cry out to Him, He can hear you amidst all of the glorious praise He deserves. Your cry comes before Him even to HIS EARS.

He is always listening.

Can you believe it?!

‘Cause I seriously, cannot.

When I take a breath and look back on my life these last short seven months… I’m just completely blown away by God’s goodness and mercy towards me. I’ve been in a whirlwind designed to erase all of the dark in my life and I’ve come out a spinning light.

Everything is so good. Even when it’s not.

I haven’t gotten good sleep the last two weeks, so this morning I decided to just go back to sleep and hopefully reset my system with a personal day. So it’ll be a good day to get on top of a lot of homework, and to just chill out.

We start in the healing and prophecy rooms, so that’s going to be a nice change, but I will miss all of the amazing teaching we’ve gotten in our practicum.

..Well, when I sat down to write this, I felt like I had a lot of this to say. But my heart is so full of goodness and love that I can’t even articulate it. So, I guess that’s it. :D

love,

Jeska.

Have I said that yet?

This morning we prophesied over the track one interns (exactly what happened to us a few weeks ago.) and it was a really good experience. Just tapping into the heart and mind of God for someone else… and then watching them receive the comfort and encouragement from it. Its really a blessing to both parties.

Now, I have to leave to go be a ministry team for the EGS service. (Encountering God. service. .. i guess that was a little redundant :)

Be blessed,

Jeska.

Here is, instead of a weekly update, a general overall of how things here have dramatically changed me. Enjoy :)

    First off, I have been washed in the blood and come out spotless. The process of sitting before God with a broken, contrite heart has brought me to a deeper level of intimacy with my Maker — my Papa — than I could have ever imagined. All the knowledge I carried in my head all these years finally made it to my heart after I let Jesus tear down the walls I had constructed. I feel entirely brand new, with a renewed mind that is constantly moving from glory to glory.
    Secondly, having gone through the Refiner’s fire, I have not been burned up as I had so often felt like I was going to be, but rather have come out shining as gold. My heart that was so broken and so bruised from losing a man I was madly in love with has been brought back not only to life, but to a life so much greater than what was before. Spence was fulfilling roles in my heart that were only for God. He had become my focus and more importantly to me than the things of God or listening to God’s plans for my life. So the consuming fire of the heart of the Father pursued me. In one move, He gave me up to the desires of my heart but also proved His eternal jealousy for me by removing all that hindered His love for me. I had to be pushed into the fire for His glory and my benefit. And I am infinitely grateful for His mercy in calling me deeper to Him.
    My confidence in who I am is completely restored. And like it says in Hosea, I can now call Him my Husband rather than my Master. Where once I thought I had love for my King, I am now consumed with passion and zeal for Him and His purposes for me. My calling has been established: to not only dwell in the House of God forever but to guide people in; He has given me back my voice and enabled me to stand before others unashamed and unafraid of the darkness that once was hidden in my heart; to be like Isaiah 61 and preach good tidings to the poor and heal the broken-hearted, to proclaim FREEDOM to the captives and the opening of the prisons to those who are bound; to show others that we overcome by the word of our testimony and the blood of the Lamb (Rev. 12:11).
    I know who I am and where I am going. A gift I never thought I would receive. I have a fire in my belly and a flame on my tongue for the Word of the Lord. I am growing in the strong prophetic gifting I carry and visions and dreams are already being poured out on my life, heart and mind. I would never trade this season for anything and will always look back on it as a pivotal moment for me — the best decision I’ve made yet for the best time of my life.

The week setup is kinda wonky.. but next week starts week three! Isn’t that amazing?! It’s already going by so quickly, but I love it.

The prophecy practicum was amazing, and the healing practicum was really great as well. And we had two solid days of the best teaching ever by Ed Boasso.

Sometimes I just can’t believe I’m so blessed to actually be here right now.

I love it.

This morning was our first ever LIFE siege where we held a silent prayer meeting surrounding the abortion clinic here. We had the red life tape over our mouths and really just focused our prayers on the end of abortion and the pouring out of God’s justice and mercy. It was really intense, and the two hours went by real quick.

I know noone really even reads this, but I know in the years to come, this journal will be increasingly helpful for me to remember all that i did.

And here I thought track one was the greatest decision of my life.

Nope. Definitely track two. :D

I may be a little premature in that notion seeing as we haven’t done anything but go over schedules and all that.. but the combination of seeing old friends that I haven’t seen in weeks and the smell of new carpet in a new building has left me buzzin’ like a 10,000 watt bulb.

Its so weird. The overall sensation of it, I mean.

For me, the two week break felt like an endless summer. I lost track of time, ate way too much garbage food (and feel like I’ve put on a bajillion pounds! Thanks, taco bell…), played a bunch of nintendo, actually spent time out of my own will in the prayer room (thanks, Jesus.) and then was like actually itching to get back into anything resembling a disciplined schedule. It was as if going from the newness of being a freshman in high school to returning as a confident, victorious sophomore. I walked in and saw all the adorable, new track one interns and goodness sakes, were they cute. We prayed for them and blessed them in this season, hoping to pass on whatever mantle of Grace we felt we had gained from our season.

It was a really encouraging day.

And there is a reason for my extra amount of joy. I pushed through having a weak heart and so little faith that God would come through with money. It was so hard, and admittedly I don’t feel like I did that great of a job, but God says otherwise. He says He’s proud that even though it didn’t feel like He would come through, He loved that I always said He would. I spoke with words when my heart could barely beat. He loves that about me. I received a $500 check yesterday. “Received” is really a poor word for my behavior concerning it. I rejected, fought, kicked and bit my way into receiving it. Free gifts are hard for me.. thankfully God’s workin’ on that one, too. But it was so encouraging. And I even later on was given a new ipod touch. That was even harder to receive… It made me feel so embarrassed about my childish behavior that God wasn’t listening.. I’m so excited for it! It’ll work in every area that I’d need an iphone to work in, I won’t have to take my whole computer with me, and I can finally sync iCal up to it and keep track of stuffs. His name is Gregory. ‘Cept my computer is a little sick, so I can’t seem to get it to be recognized on anything other than windows and I’ve reset AND restored it so many times I can’t even remember the total. (Which is why I’m awake at 2:18.)

But that’s irregardless… Sasha (my macbook) should be up and running by Tuesday as the mac genius said. Or that’s when they’ll have my new screen in and they’ll be able to reset everything.. He said I had so many problems across the board that it has to be a something-something type of error and they can fix it with this one step. On Tuesday. Blergh. Oh well. Sasha will be sick but working until then… I mean, we all go into work when we’re sick, so there’s no difference. And as far as Gregory, I don’t necessarily need him right now as long as Sasha and Mordecai (my original ipod) are functioning.

I just hope I find some time to get it all rollin’ together.

… ANYWAY! That was quite the rabbit trail from intern related things. Sorry.

All that to say, God is faithful, He is always listening, He always loves, and if you forget it, He’ll be right on it to remind you. ‘Cause He’s good like that.

Tomorrow is the potluck celebration and then after that I’m gonna try and make a break for a quick home trip so I can get some sweaters and fallish clothes. It’s gettin’ chilly here. I love it! Hopefully, I’ll round up some companions to make the journey with me. It’s only five and a half hours.. but those are long, boring hours by yourself. I’ll be back Monday night, just in time to get some decent sleep before the whirlwind of Tuesday hits me in the face.

I love it.

This is my life, and I love it.

It’s been a year of losses, but I’m so happy with who I’ve become and who I am becoming. Praise be to Jesus.

love love,

Jeska.

Alright, well in about an hour I’ll be setting up payment plans for track two. I wonder how things will change in an hour? For now, I have maybe $50 I can give them. That’ll get me through one week. Then I’ll need to keep finding $50 every week from there on out. And the only side-dilemma of this $50 is that it’s not even in my account yet. I received a check and need to mail it to my bank and that could take a few days by mail, then a few days to clear… so I can’t even really give them the money I only sort of have.

This is pretty interesting thought: Last night I posted a quick half-prayer up on my main tumblr page and when it came up on a friends log, one of her friends had just posted before me. It’s interesting how it all went together:

That was a nice reminder, to say the least.

But I am VERY excited to see everyone again as this two week break has felt more like two years.

I just need to trust more that God will handle it.

So that’s my first update on track two. If you want to pray for me, that’d be ever so lovely, and if you want to send in any prayers you can do so by going HERE!

lovelove,

Jeska.

Well,

Track two is almost upon me! This break has been pretty eventful for me even though it’s only been like a week and a half. I feel like I haven’t see my friend-interns (frinterns) in months, and feel completely ready to get back into the schedule of chaos.

I still don’t have any money for it though, and Friday we have to set up payment or payment plans… So, I know Jesus will provide, I’m just getting a little nervous. If 24 people gave me $25 then it’d all be taken care of. It’s that simple. But it’s finding those people that are willing to give that makes it a little harder.

I’ve grown a lot spiritually and emotionally through track one, but I feel like more growth has occurred in my heart in the off week we’ve had, which I’m sure will only springboard me into more awesomeness of the next 3 months. So, naturally, I’m excited.

The internship will go from Oct. 2 until December 19th or 23rd. I don’t remember the closing dates, but if you want to pray for me during that time, that’d be so great :) Or if you ever want to help me out financially that’s of course always appreciated. And it wouldn’t have to be much. I think, at least for me, when I hear of support and people needing money, I always think “oh, well I could only give them $10 a month” or something like that, and because I feel like the amount is so small, I never give it. Well, let me tell you! $10 is EXTREMELY helpful. Never feel like your gift of partnership is too small.

This track is also different in that now it’s hands on in a physical sense whereas track one was hands on in a spiritual sense. We will be the ones ministering during services and leading in the prophecy and healing rooms, plus going on evangelizing treasure hunts (which are *SO* fun) and doing LIFE sieges on Saturday. And when it’s all said and done, I want to join staff and hopefully land in an opening helping out with track one. I fell in love with the program so much that my heart will forever be connected with this place forever.

If you ever even think about doing an internship here, DO IT!

And if you have any prayer requests, shoot ‘em to me HERE —> http://www.formstack.com/forms/?981070-py2bGHC6aZ . (my computer’s being wonky so I can’t properly link it. Sorry!)

Love love,

Jeska.

Well!

It’s been quite the ride of three months. I’ve made good friends, I’ve made best friends. I’ve gotten in a car accident and received a very awesome new car. I’ve grown spiritually, mentally, and emotionally and am what I would call 85% recovered from heartbreak. I’ve learned more about the book of Revelation than I ever thought I could/would know. I’ve dressed up as the Lion of Judah. I’ve reclaimed my identity in Christ and I’ve learned that everyone loves me. I’ve made some bad choices and I’ve made some good choices. I’ve lost and won battles. AND I’VE DISCOVERED I LOVE ULTIMATE FRISBEE AND I AM ACTUALLY KIND OF ATHLETIC. (that was a shock to me.)

But..overall?

This was the BEST decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. And I’m being 100% honest, no exaggeration.

There are no words for how grateful I am for this entire experience. And this is only the beginning. Track II starts in about three weeks, and it will be a whole other ride at that point.

And after Track II, I plan on joining the IHOP-KC staff and will hopefully find an opening on the Intro to IHOP-KC staff to pour into other future interns the way I was poured into.

There’s so much more I can write, and maybe I will when we FINALLY get the internet on Friday. But if I could ever encourage you to do anything in your life, an internship here (specifically Intro because it’s the best.) is the greatest choice you could make.

I love you all! I’ll keep updating through Track II, and probably more often once the internet hits. So thanks for following thus far :)

Love, Jeska.